WWF In Your House #8: Beware of Dog Report

The following is my report for the 1996 WWF Pay-Per-View In Your House: Beware of Dog. We’ll be doing a complete audio review of this show as part of our “RetroReview” series on Against The Mat tomorrow night at 6pm ET/7pm AT at http://www.chsrfm.ca! Check it out!

WWF In Your House 8: Beware of Dog

Date: May 26 & 28, 1996

Locations: Florence, SC (May 26) & N. Charleston, SC (May 28)

Video package highlighting HBK/Bulldog program
Diana Hart accused Shawn of “wanting her”
What terrible graphics – IYH logo on a chain with spiked collar
Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler commentators
Lawler says that Shawn’s mission is to prove to the world that he’s not a womanizer
Lawler’s one to talk

HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY VS. “THE WILD MAN” MARC MERO

HHH makes entrance
DOK HENDRICKS interviews Mero
Mero tells Hunter he’s gonna answer the call of the wild
Mero comes out to what would become Sable’s music with Sable
Wild man runs wild early and knocks HHH over the top
Mero does a dive to the outside onto HHH
Mero does a slingshot legdrop for a near fall
Vince: The wild man will take it to you where ever you are
HHH thumbs Mero’s eye
King Paul gets whipped into corner, takes the Flair flip bump
Random female scream
HHH throws Mero shoulder first into post
Does it again, this time Mero falls to the floor
Hunter works over the left arm
These really large South Carolinians cheer on Mero
Vince mentions the storm happening and says they’re experiencing technical difficulty
HHH hits the high knee for a near fall
King keeps calling HHH an “Ivey Leaguer”; HHH never went to college
King puts over HHH’s valet, who’s sitting next to him; his hands are nowhere to be seen
King repeatedly calls Sable ugly
HHH rings Mero’s arm around the post a few more times
HHH attempts an arm bar, which Mero tries to block, but fails
Vince has no idea what the move is
“That’s a submission move” says King. Great insight
Mero makes the ropes, the crowd eats food
Hunter hits a knee drop on Mero’s shoulder
Mero tries a one armed comeback, but gets poked in the eye
The announcing is terrible
Mero counters a belly to back suplex with a roll up for a near fall
Hunter clotheslines Mero down
HHH continues to work the arm by pulling down atop the rope
Hunter does a FLYING FOREARM to Mero’s bad arm
HHH puts in an arm bar and grabs rope for leverage
The ugly fans gets upset and cry tears of gravy into their nachos
HHH does a hammerlock bodyslam
HHH gets crotched on the top turnbuckle
Mero hits a top rope Frankensteiner
Sable has some wacky whip with her
Mero executes a tilta-whirl head-scissors
Mero starts his comeback, hits a back drop
Mero gets a flying sunset flip
Mero dropkicks HHH over the top
Mero attempts a tope but HHH moves
Mero tweaks his knee
HHH went for pedigree, but stops to harass Sable
He grabs her whip gimmick
Tells her to watch
Pedigree attempt is countered with a catapult into the post
Mero covers HHH for the win

“WILD MAN” MARC MERO BEATS HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY IN 16:23 (**3/4)

Curt Henning interviews Jim Cornette
Cornette says he got Owen Hart a managers license
Owen will accompany Davey to the ring
Says that Shawn will leave “Beltless, prideless, and friendless

SHAWN MICHAELS VS. BRITISH BULLDOG – WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Bulldog out with Diana & Owen Hart
Vince apologizes for the power going out
Power came back just before this match
Dok Hendricks interviews HBK
Shawn: “Davey Boy Smith, I got news for you; beware of the Dog? I don’t think so, you better beware of the KLIQ!” WORD
Shawn has that wack Jose Luthario with him
Vince plugs the Encore of IYH
King plugs Shawn’s Playgirl issue
Clarence Mason says that Shawn attempted the marriage of Diana & Davey
Says he tried to destroy their family values
Shawn blows a bubble with his gum since he knows this BLOWS
Shawn gets served
HBK tears up the subpoena
BB attacks HBK
Bulldog looks quite swollen
Shawn fights back with some arm drags
Bulldog rolls out, HBK hits a slingshot plancha
Shawn works a headlock cause he’s HIGH ON SOMAS
This headlock lasts literally 8 years
They seriously have not moved for at least 90 seconds
Bulldog fights back, Shawn attempts a Thesz press, BB gets a bearhug
Shawn gets a nearfall with a leg press roll up
HBK works the left arm of Davey
Owen: C’MON BULLDOG!
HBK works this key lock for 3 years
Dog powers up and hits an electric chair
Bulldog hits a back drop
Loud ‘HBK’ chants from the sloth like children of Florence
Bulldog does the “up yours” hand gesture
Probably more effective he wasn’t wearing TASSELS on his boots
Now it’s Bulldog’s turn to work a rest hold
Shawn fights back but Bulldog puts Shawn in a torture rack
Shawn tries to fight back again, but Bulldog cuts him off with a samoan drop type move
Bulldog locks in a testosterone assisted HEADLOCK
Diana looks on, partially aroused
This match has gone over 11 minutes and they’ve done 4 moves
Shawn fights back, attempts his flying forearm but misses and flies to ringside
Bulldog throws him into the railing
HBK tries to enter the ring Bulldog cuts him off
Shawn pulls Dog’s head onto the rope
Shawn hits a slingshot clothesline
Double down
HBK hits his big forearm
HBK bodyslam
Shawn hits a double-sledge
Ref bump and Bulldog runs into him
HBK hits the top rope elbow
Owen enters the ring and gets superkicked
Bulldog knocks down Shawn and kicks him
HBK counters a powerslam by pushing Davey into the corner
Shawn hits a German suplex with a bridge and the ref counts three
The new ref counted the pin and says Bulldog won
Hebner says Shawn won
GO-RILLA comes down and grabs the belt from Diana
There’s mass confusion
Howard Finkel announces that Gorilla Monsoon declares the match a draw, so HBK retains the title
Shawn looks PISSED

SHAWN MICHAELS & BRITISH BULLDOG FOUGHT TO A DRAW IN 17:22 (**)

It’s now time for Beware of Dog 2
Jim Ross & Curt Hennig are the announcers

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN VS. SAVIO VEGA – CARIBBEAN STRAP MATCH

If Savio wins, DiBiase will leave the WWF
In reality, DiBiase had signed a deal with WCW
If Savio lost, he’d be DiBiase’s chauffer
Austin takes an immediate powder
Austin gets the heat early with hard shots
Vega hits a back drop to Austin
Vega pulls Austin gut first into the apron with the strap
Vega sends Austin back into the ring
Vega starts whipping Austin with the strap
Austin tries to leave again, but Vega suplexes him back in
More whips with the strap
Spinning heel kick from Vega
Vega touches two corners before Austin pulls him away
Austin whips Vega HARD with the strap
They fight to the outside
Vega nails Austin with some chops
Austin takes his turn to whip Vega
Austin drops Savio sternum first into the barricade
Austin chokes Vega with the strap whilst he’s in the ring
Austin suplexes Savio from the apron into the ring
Austin wraps the strap around Vega’s ankles
Austin gets to two corners and Vega spins him around until he falls
Savio regains control and resumes whipping Stone Cold
Austin backdropped Vega over the top, and gets pulled over in the process
Savio counters a suplex with one of his own on the floor
Savio chops Austin with the strap
Austin tries a double-sledge from the steps but gets punched in the gut
Back in the ring, Savio hog ties Austin and touches three turnbuckles
But Austin pulls him away before corner 4
Stone Cold goes crazy with the strap
Vega fights back and gets SCSA on the top turnbuckle and chops and whips him
Austin fights back and attempts to get up top, but gets crotched
Savio hits a big superplex
These poor guys had to work this match two nights earlier as well
Vega gets to three corners, but Austin intercepts him with a spine-buster
Why doesn’t DiBiase just interfere? It’s no DQ
Austin places Vega neck-first upon the second rope and chokes him
He then does a running pounce on Vega’s back
Crowd is really quiet, so you can really hear the smack of the leather on skin
Austin gets two turnbuckles, but he stops before the third to go after Vega
Both men attempt tombstone piledrivers, but both counter until Vega falls over the top rope
Vega chokes Austin some more
Austin goes up top and Vega pulls him off and Austin crashes into the guardrail
Austin drills Vega back first into the steps
Vega then pulls Austin into the steps
Vega puts Austin on his shoulders and gets two turnbuckles
Austin grabs his jeans to prevent him from the third but Vega gets it
Stone Cold pulls him away just before he could get the fourth
Austin hits a piledriver on Savio
DiBiase tells Austin give him another one
Vega counters with a back drop
Austin locks in the Million Dollar Dream
Austin gets on Vega’s back
Vega touches two corners
Vega pushes back off the turnbuckles to break he Million Dollar Dream
Austin rams Vega head first into the post
Stone Cold wraps the strap around Vega’s neck
Austin hits three turnbuckles with Vega touching them just after Austin
Vega fights back and they do a tug of war, and Austin pulls Vega accidently into the fourth corner

SAVIO VEGA BEATS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IN A STRAP MATCH IN 21:24 (***1/4)

Savio sings a terrible rendition of Nah-Nah-Nah Hey-Hey-Goodbye
SHAWN MICHAELS IS CHATTING ON AOL on a PHAT ASS 1996 LAPTOP

YOKOZUNA VS. VADER

They show a highlight from seven weeks prior on Raw of Vader destroying Yoko’s leg
Yoko looks like a subway
They just start punching each other
Cornette is at ringside with Vader
They stare at each other and Vader makes noises and Yoko does a Sumo stance
It still makes me laugh that Yokozuna was portrayed as being from Japan, even though he was Samoan
They stall forever
If the goal was to ease the crowd before the main event, mission accomplished
Yoko runs and knocks down Vader, and then sends him outside
Vader tee’s off on Yoko with punches
Yoko works over Vader’s left leg
Vader starts selling the leg big time
Yoko does another leg sweep and another elbow to the knee
My kitten does a run in and jumps on my shoulder for just enough time to show me her anus. Thanks kitty
Anywho, Vader attempts a slam, but Yoko counters with a uranage slam
Cornette tries to hit Yoko with the racket
Tries a bonsai drop on Cornette
Vader pulls Corny out of the way
Vader nails Yoko’s leg
Vader hits the Vader bomb for the pin

VADER BEATS YOKOZUNA IN 9:07 (*1/2)

They show an incredibly cheesy promo for King of the Ring featuring Lawler getting hit in the head with a guitar and being sent to hell. Wacky
That was the infamous KOTR featuring the “Austin 3:16 Promo”
We see a GOLD CASKET at ringside

GOLDUST VS. THE UNDERTAKER – CASKET MATCH FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

The night before on Raw, there was an infamous segment which saw Goldust perform “mouth to mouth” on Ahmed Johnson
The lights go out for Taker’s entrance, and he appears behind Goldust to start the match
Taker must not have known that Goldie would have liked having him behind him in the dark
Marlena is at ringside with her Stogie and director’s chair
Taker is dominating thus far and throws Dust head first into the steps
Undertaker bounces Goldust’s head off the gold casket
Taker delivers a slam to Goldust followed by a leg drop
Taker does “old school”
JR says this is the first ever IC Title casket match
Goldust fights back with a slam, and Taker sits up
Goldust hits Undertaker with a tombstone, really out of nowhere
Taker sits up after Paul rubs the urn
“Rest in Peace!” chants
Goldust rolls Taker into the casket, but can’t shut it as Taker fights back
Taker hits a big boot
Goldust back drops Taker over the top and to the floor
Goldust chokes Taker with a camera cord at ringside
Goldie has the advantage and Taker stumbles about
Undertaker hits a series of punches and kicks, but gets locked in a sleeper
Marlena looks disgusted at the lard lovers of Charleston
Taker gets thrown in the casket after the sleeper, but Goldust can’t shut the lid
Taker keeps fighting back, and flips open the lid, which sends Goldust flying
Back in the ring, Undertaker hits his huge clothesline
Taker clotheslines Goldust over the top
Taker attempts to kill Goldie with a chair, but Dust kicks him in the face
Goldust hits a nice powerslam on Taker
Goldust hits a flying clothesline from the top
He goes for a cover, but that’s useless
Taker grabs Goldust’s throat, but Goldust counters and scales the ropes
He attempts old school but is thrown off
Taker hits a tombstone
He opens the casket only to find Mankind
Mankind locks in the Mandible Claw
Mankind rolls Undertaker into the casket and locks it
Smoke billows from the casket as Mankind walks to the back