Instant Breakfast’s Vinyl Monday w/ Ross Neilson

There has been another bout added to the May 31st WWE Network exclusive event, as WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella will defend her title in a triple threat match against Naomi, and the returning Paige. Naomi holds a couple of pinfall victories over Nikki, while Paige won the #1 contender’s battle royal last month and is owed a title shot. This match was set up on Raw Monday night when Paige returned to chase away Naomi, while laying out Nikki with a thrust kick. Below is the updated Elimination Chamber lineup:

Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match: The New Day vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro vs. The Lucha Dragons vs. The Ascension vs. The Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadors

Intercontinental Championship Elimination Chamber Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev vs. Sheamus vs. R-Truth vs. King Barrett vs. Ryback

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

United States Championship: John Cena vs. Kevin Owens

Divas Championship: Nikki Bella vs. Naomi vs. Paige

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The following is my report for the 1996 WWF Pay-Per-View In Your House: Beware of Dog. We’ll be doing a complete audio review of this show as part of our “RetroReview” series on Against The Mat tomorrow night at 6pm ET/7pm AT at http://www.chsrfm.ca! Check it out!

WWF In Your House 8: Beware of Dog

Date: May 26 & 28, 1996

Locations: Florence, SC (May 26) & N. Charleston, SC (May 28)

• Video package highlighting HBK/Bulldog program
• Diana Hart accused Shawn of “wanting her”
• What terrible graphics – IYH logo on a chain with spiked collar
• Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler commentators
• Lawler says that Shawn’s mission is to prove to the world that he’s not a womanizer
• Lawler’s one to talk

HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY VS. “THE WILD MAN” MARC MERO

• HHH makes entrance
• DOK HENDRICKS interviews Mero
• Mero tells Hunter he’s gonna answer the call of the wild
• Mero comes out to what would become Sable’s music with Sable
• Wild man runs wild early and knocks HHH over the top
• Mero does a dive to the outside onto HHH
• Mero does a slingshot legdrop for a near fall
• Vince: The wild man will take it to you where ever you are
• HHH thumbs Mero’s eye
• King Paul gets whipped into corner, takes the Flair flip bump
• Random female scream
• HHH throws Mero shoulder first into post
• Does it again, this time Mero falls to the floor
• Hunter works over the left arm
• These really large South Carolinians cheer on Mero
• Vince mentions the storm happening and says they’re experiencing technical difficulty
• HHH hits the high knee for a near fall
• King keeps calling HHH an “Ivey Leaguer”; HHH never went to college
• King puts over HHH’s valet, who’s sitting next to him; his hands are nowhere to be seen
• King repeatedly calls Sable ugly
• HHH rings Mero’s arm around the post a few more times
• HHH attempts an arm bar, which Mero tries to block, but fails
• Vince has no idea what the move is
• “That’s a submission move” says King. Great insight
• Mero makes the ropes, the crowd eats food
• Hunter hits a knee drop on Mero’s shoulder
• Mero tries a one armed comeback, but gets poked in the eye
• The announcing is terrible
• Mero counters a belly to back suplex with a roll up for a near fall
• Hunter clotheslines Mero down
• HHH continues to work the arm by pulling down atop the rope
• Hunter does a FLYING FOREARM to Mero’s bad arm
• HHH puts in an arm bar and grabs rope for leverage
• The ugly fans gets upset and cry tears of gravy into their nachos
• HHH does a hammerlock bodyslam
• HHH gets crotched on the top turnbuckle
• Mero hits a top rope Frankensteiner
• Sable has some wacky whip with her
• Mero executes a tilta-whirl head-scissors
• Mero starts his comeback, hits a back drop
• Mero gets a flying sunset flip
• Mero dropkicks HHH over the top
• Mero attempts a tope but HHH moves
• Mero tweaks his knee
• HHH went for pedigree, but stops to harass Sable
• He grabs her whip gimmick
• Tells her to watch
• Pedigree attempt is countered with a catapult into the post
• Mero covers HHH for the win

“WILD MAN” MARC MERO BEATS HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY IN 16:23 (**3/4)

• Curt Henning interviews Jim Cornette
• Cornette says he got Owen Hart a managers license
• Owen will accompany Davey to the ring
• Says that Shawn will leave “Beltless, prideless, and friendless

SHAWN MICHAELS VS. BRITISH BULLDOG – WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

• Bulldog out with Diana & Owen Hart
• Vince apologizes for the power going out
• Power came back just before this match
• Dok Hendricks interviews HBK
• Shawn: “Davey Boy Smith, I got news for you; beware of the Dog? I don’t think so, you better beware of the KLIQ!” WORD
• Shawn has that wack Jose Luthario with him
• Vince plugs the Encore of IYH
• King plugs Shawn’s Playgirl issue
• Clarence Mason says that Shawn attempted the marriage of Diana & Davey
• Says he tried to destroy their family values
• Shawn blows a bubble with his gum since he knows this BLOWS
• Shawn gets served
• HBK tears up the subpoena
• BB attacks HBK
• Bulldog looks quite swollen
• Shawn fights back with some arm drags
• Bulldog rolls out, HBK hits a slingshot plancha
• Shawn works a headlock cause he’s HIGH ON SOMAS
• This headlock lasts literally 8 years
• They seriously have not moved for at least 90 seconds
• Bulldog fights back, Shawn attempts a Thesz press, BB gets a bearhug
• Shawn gets a nearfall with a leg press roll up
• HBK works the left arm of Davey
• Owen: C’MON BULLDOG!
• HBK works this key lock for 3 years
• Dog powers up and hits an electric chair
• Bulldog hits a back drop
• Loud ‘HBK’ chants from the sloth like children of Florence
• Bulldog does the “up yours” hand gesture
• Probably more effective he wasn’t wearing TASSELS on his boots
• Now it’s Bulldog’s turn to work a rest hold
• Shawn fights back but Bulldog puts Shawn in a torture rack
• Shawn tries to fight back again, but Bulldog cuts him off with a samoan drop type move
• Bulldog locks in a testosterone assisted HEADLOCK
• Diana looks on, partially aroused
• This match has gone over 11 minutes and they’ve done 4 moves
• Shawn fights back, attempts his flying forearm but misses and flies to ringside
• Bulldog throws him into the railing
• HBK tries to enter the ring Bulldog cuts him off
• Shawn pulls Dog’s head onto the rope
• Shawn hits a slingshot clothesline
• Double down
• HBK hits his big forearm
• HBK bodyslam
• Shawn hits a double-sledge
• Ref bump and Bulldog runs into him
• HBK hits the top rope elbow
• Owen enters the ring and gets superkicked
• Bulldog knocks down Shawn and kicks him
• HBK counters a powerslam by pushing Davey into the corner
• Shawn hits a German suplex with a bridge and the ref counts three
• The new ref counted the pin and says Bulldog won
• Hebner says Shawn won
• GO-RILLA comes down and grabs the belt from Diana
• There’s mass confusion
• Howard Finkel announces that Gorilla Monsoon declares the match a draw, so HBK retains the title
• Shawn looks PISSED

SHAWN MICHAELS & BRITISH BULLDOG FOUGHT TO A DRAW IN 17:22 (**)

• It’s now time for Beware of Dog 2
• Jim Ross & Curt Hennig are the announcers

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN VS. SAVIO VEGA – CARIBBEAN STRAP MATCH

• If Savio wins, DiBiase will leave the WWF
• In reality, DiBiase had signed a deal with WCW
• If Savio lost, he’d be DiBiase’s chauffer
• Austin takes an immediate powder
• Austin gets the heat early with hard shots
• Vega hits a back drop to Austin
• Vega pulls Austin gut first into the apron with the strap
• Vega sends Austin back into the ring
• Vega starts whipping Austin with the strap
• Austin tries to leave again, but Vega suplexes him back in
• More whips with the strap
• Spinning heel kick from Vega
• Vega touches two corners before Austin pulls him away
• Austin whips Vega HARD with the strap
• They fight to the outside
• Vega nails Austin with some chops
• Austin takes his turn to whip Vega
• Austin drops Savio sternum first into the barricade
• Austin chokes Vega with the strap whilst he’s in the ring
• Austin suplexes Savio from the apron into the ring
• Austin wraps the strap around Vega’s ankles
• Austin gets to two corners and Vega spins him around until he falls
• Savio regains control and resumes whipping Stone Cold
• Austin backdropped Vega over the top, and gets pulled over in the process
• Savio counters a suplex with one of his own on the floor
• Savio chops Austin with the strap
• Austin tries a double-sledge from the steps but gets punched in the gut
• Back in the ring, Savio hog ties Austin and touches three turnbuckles
• But Austin pulls him away before corner 4
• Stone Cold goes crazy with the strap
• Vega fights back and gets SCSA on the top turnbuckle and chops and whips him
• Austin fights back and attempts to get up top, but gets crotched
• Savio hits a big superplex
• These poor guys had to work this match two nights earlier as well
• Vega gets to three corners, but Austin intercepts him with a spine-buster
• Why doesn’t DiBiase just interfere? It’s no DQ
• Austin places Vega neck-first upon the second rope and chokes him
• He then does a running pounce on Vega’s back
• Crowd is really quiet, so you can really hear the smack of the leather on skin
• Austin gets two turnbuckles, but he stops before the third to go after Vega
• Both men attempt tombstone piledrivers, but both counter until Vega falls over the top rope
• Vega chokes Austin some more
• Austin goes up top and Vega pulls him off and Austin crashes into the guardrail
• Austin drills Vega back first into the steps
• Vega then pulls Austin into the steps
• Vega puts Austin on his shoulders and gets two turnbuckles
• Austin grabs his jeans to prevent him from the third but Vega gets it
• Stone Cold pulls him away just before he could get the fourth
• Austin hits a piledriver on Savio
• DiBiase tells Austin give him another one
• Vega counters with a back drop
• Austin locks in the Million Dollar Dream
• Austin gets on Vega’s back
• Vega touches two corners
• Vega pushes back off the turnbuckles to break he Million Dollar Dream
• Austin rams Vega head first into the post
• Stone Cold wraps the strap around Vega’s neck
• Austin hits three turnbuckles with Vega touching them just after Austin
• Vega fights back and they do a tug of war, and Austin pulls Vega accidently into the fourth corner

SAVIO VEGA BEATS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IN A STRAP MATCH IN 21:24 (***1/4)

• Savio sings a terrible rendition of Nah-Nah-Nah Hey-Hey-Goodbye
• SHAWN MICHAELS IS CHATTING ON AOL on a PHAT ASS 1996 LAPTOP

YOKOZUNA VS. VADER

• They show a highlight from seven weeks prior on Raw of Vader destroying Yoko’s leg
• Yoko looks like a subway
• They just start punching each other
• Cornette is at ringside with Vader
• They stare at each other and Vader makes noises and Yoko does a Sumo stance
• It still makes me laugh that Yokozuna was portrayed as being from Japan, even though he was Samoan
• They stall forever
• If the goal was to ease the crowd before the main event, mission accomplished
• Yoko runs and knocks down Vader, and then sends him outside
• Vader tee’s off on Yoko with punches
• Yoko works over Vader’s left leg
• Vader starts selling the leg big time
• Yoko does another leg sweep and another elbow to the knee
• My kitten does a run in and jumps on my shoulder for just enough time to show me her anus. Thanks kitty
• Anywho, Vader attempts a slam, but Yoko counters with a uranage slam
• Cornette tries to hit Yoko with the racket
• Tries a bonsai drop on Cornette
• Vader pulls Corny out of the way
• Vader nails Yoko’s leg
• Vader hits the Vader bomb for the pin

VADER BEATS YOKOZUNA IN 9:07 (*1/2)

• They show an incredibly cheesy promo for King of the Ring featuring Lawler getting hit in the head with a guitar and being sent to hell. Wacky
• That was the infamous KOTR featuring the “Austin 3:16 Promo”
• We see a GOLD CASKET at ringside

GOLDUST VS. THE UNDERTAKER – CASKET MATCH FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

• The night before on Raw, there was an infamous segment which saw Goldust perform “mouth to mouth” on Ahmed Johnson
• The lights go out for Taker’s entrance, and he appears behind Goldust to start the match
• Taker must not have known that Goldie would have liked having him behind him in the dark
• Marlena is at ringside with her Stogie and director’s chair
• Taker is dominating thus far and throws Dust head first into the steps
• Undertaker bounces Goldust’s head off the gold casket
• Taker delivers a slam to Goldust followed by a leg drop
• Taker does “old school”
• JR says this is the first ever IC Title casket match
• Goldust fights back with a slam, and Taker sits up
• Goldust hits Undertaker with a tombstone, really out of nowhere
• Taker sits up after Paul rubs the urn
• “Rest in Peace!” chants
• Goldust rolls Taker into the casket, but can’t shut it as Taker fights back
• Taker hits a big boot
• Goldust back drops Taker over the top and to the floor
• Goldust chokes Taker with a camera cord at ringside
• Goldie has the advantage and Taker stumbles about
• Undertaker hits a series of punches and kicks, but gets locked in a sleeper
• Marlena looks disgusted at the lard lovers of Charleston
• Taker gets thrown in the casket after the sleeper, but Goldust can’t shut the lid
• Taker keeps fighting back, and flips open the lid, which sends Goldust flying
• Back in the ring, Undertaker hits his huge clothesline
• Taker clotheslines Goldust over the top
• Taker attempts to kill Goldie with a chair, but Dust kicks him in the face
• Goldust hits a nice powerslam on Taker
• Goldust hits a flying clothesline from the top
• He goes for a cover, but that’s useless
• Taker grabs Goldust’s throat, but Goldust counters and scales the ropes
• He attempts old school but is thrown off
• Taker hits a tombstone
• He opens the casket only to find Mankind
• Mankind locks in the Mandible Claw
• Mankind rolls Undertaker into the casket and locks it
• Smoke billows from the casket as Mankind walks to the back

GOLDUST BEATS THE UNDERTAKER IN A CASKET MATCH TO RETAIN THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN 12:35 (**1/2)

• After the match, they open the casket and Undertaker is gone, as his music plays and the show goes off the air

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