The following is my report for the 1996 WWF Pay-Per-View In Your House: Beware of Dog. We’ll be doing a complete audio review of this show as part of our “RetroReview” series on Against The Mat tomorrow night at 6pm ET/7pm AT at http://www.chsrfm.ca! Check it out!

WWF In Your House 8: Beware of Dog

Date: May 26 & 28, 1996

Locations: Florence, SC (May 26) & N. Charleston, SC (May 28)

• Video package highlighting HBK/Bulldog program
• Diana Hart accused Shawn of “wanting her”
• What terrible graphics – IYH logo on a chain with spiked collar
• Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler commentators
• Lawler says that Shawn’s mission is to prove to the world that he’s not a womanizer
• Lawler’s one to talk

HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY VS. “THE WILD MAN” MARC MERO

• HHH makes entrance
• DOK HENDRICKS interviews Mero
• Mero tells Hunter he’s gonna answer the call of the wild
• Mero comes out to what would become Sable’s music with Sable
• Wild man runs wild early and knocks HHH over the top
• Mero does a dive to the outside onto HHH
• Mero does a slingshot legdrop for a near fall
• Vince: The wild man will take it to you where ever you are
• HHH thumbs Mero’s eye
• King Paul gets whipped into corner, takes the Flair flip bump
• Random female scream
• HHH throws Mero shoulder first into post
• Does it again, this time Mero falls to the floor
• Hunter works over the left arm
• These really large South Carolinians cheer on Mero
• Vince mentions the storm happening and says they’re experiencing technical difficulty
• HHH hits the high knee for a near fall
• King keeps calling HHH an “Ivey Leaguer”; HHH never went to college
• King puts over HHH’s valet, who’s sitting next to him; his hands are nowhere to be seen
• King repeatedly calls Sable ugly
• HHH rings Mero’s arm around the post a few more times
• HHH attempts an arm bar, which Mero tries to block, but fails
• Vince has no idea what the move is
• “That’s a submission move” says King. Great insight
• Mero makes the ropes, the crowd eats food
• Hunter hits a knee drop on Mero’s shoulder
• Mero tries a one armed comeback, but gets poked in the eye
• The announcing is terrible
• Mero counters a belly to back suplex with a roll up for a near fall
• Hunter clotheslines Mero down
• HHH continues to work the arm by pulling down atop the rope
• Hunter does a FLYING FOREARM to Mero’s bad arm
• HHH puts in an arm bar and grabs rope for leverage
• The ugly fans gets upset and cry tears of gravy into their nachos
• HHH does a hammerlock bodyslam
• HHH gets crotched on the top turnbuckle
• Mero hits a top rope Frankensteiner
• Sable has some wacky whip with her
• Mero executes a tilta-whirl head-scissors
• Mero starts his comeback, hits a back drop
• Mero gets a flying sunset flip
• Mero dropkicks HHH over the top
• Mero attempts a tope but HHH moves
• Mero tweaks his knee
• HHH went for pedigree, but stops to harass Sable
• He grabs her whip gimmick
• Tells her to watch
• Pedigree attempt is countered with a catapult into the post
• Mero covers HHH for the win

“WILD MAN” MARC MERO BEATS HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY IN 16:23 (**3/4)

• Curt Henning interviews Jim Cornette
• Cornette says he got Owen Hart a managers license
• Owen will accompany Davey to the ring
• Says that Shawn will leave “Beltless, prideless, and friendless

SHAWN MICHAELS VS. BRITISH BULLDOG – WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

• Bulldog out with Diana & Owen Hart
• Vince apologizes for the power going out
• Power came back just before this match
• Dok Hendricks interviews HBK
• Shawn: “Davey Boy Smith, I got news for you; beware of the Dog? I don’t think so, you better beware of the KLIQ!” WORD
• Shawn has that wack Jose Luthario with him
• Vince plugs the Encore of IYH
• King plugs Shawn’s Playgirl issue
• Clarence Mason says that Shawn attempted the marriage of Diana & Davey
• Says he tried to destroy their family values
• Shawn blows a bubble with his gum since he knows this BLOWS
• Shawn gets served
• HBK tears up the subpoena
• BB attacks HBK
• Bulldog looks quite swollen
• Shawn fights back with some arm drags
• Bulldog rolls out, HBK hits a slingshot plancha
• Shawn works a headlock cause he’s HIGH ON SOMAS
• This headlock lasts literally 8 years
• They seriously have not moved for at least 90 seconds
• Bulldog fights back, Shawn attempts a Thesz press, BB gets a bearhug
• Shawn gets a nearfall with a leg press roll up
• HBK works the left arm of Davey
• Owen: C’MON BULLDOG!
• HBK works this key lock for 3 years
• Dog powers up and hits an electric chair
• Bulldog hits a back drop
• Loud ‘HBK’ chants from the sloth like children of Florence
• Bulldog does the “up yours” hand gesture
• Probably more effective he wasn’t wearing TASSELS on his boots
• Now it’s Bulldog’s turn to work a rest hold
• Shawn fights back but Bulldog puts Shawn in a torture rack
• Shawn tries to fight back again, but Bulldog cuts him off with a samoan drop type move
• Bulldog locks in a testosterone assisted HEADLOCK
• Diana looks on, partially aroused
• This match has gone over 11 minutes and they’ve done 4 moves
• Shawn fights back, attempts his flying forearm but misses and flies to ringside
• Bulldog throws him into the railing
• HBK tries to enter the ring Bulldog cuts him off
• Shawn pulls Dog’s head onto the rope
• Shawn hits a slingshot clothesline
• Double down
• HBK hits his big forearm
• HBK bodyslam
• Shawn hits a double-sledge
• Ref bump and Bulldog runs into him
• HBK hits the top rope elbow
• Owen enters the ring and gets superkicked
• Bulldog knocks down Shawn and kicks him
• HBK counters a powerslam by pushing Davey into the corner
• Shawn hits a German suplex with a bridge and the ref counts three
• The new ref counted the pin and says Bulldog won
• Hebner says Shawn won
• GO-RILLA comes down and grabs the belt from Diana
• There’s mass confusion
• Howard Finkel announces that Gorilla Monsoon declares the match a draw, so HBK retains the title
• Shawn looks PISSED

SHAWN MICHAELS & BRITISH BULLDOG FOUGHT TO A DRAW IN 17:22 (**)

• It’s now time for Beware of Dog 2
• Jim Ross & Curt Hennig are the announcers

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN VS. SAVIO VEGA – CARIBBEAN STRAP MATCH

• If Savio wins, DiBiase will leave the WWF
• In reality, DiBiase had signed a deal with WCW
• If Savio lost, he’d be DiBiase’s chauffer
• Austin takes an immediate powder
• Austin gets the heat early with hard shots
• Vega hits a back drop to Austin
• Vega pulls Austin gut first into the apron with the strap
• Vega sends Austin back into the ring
• Vega starts whipping Austin with the strap
• Austin tries to leave again, but Vega suplexes him back in
• More whips with the strap
• Spinning heel kick from Vega
• Vega touches two corners before Austin pulls him away
• Austin whips Vega HARD with the strap
• They fight to the outside
• Vega nails Austin with some chops
• Austin takes his turn to whip Vega
• Austin drops Savio sternum first into the barricade
• Austin chokes Vega with the strap whilst he’s in the ring
• Austin suplexes Savio from the apron into the ring
• Austin wraps the strap around Vega’s ankles
• Austin gets to two corners and Vega spins him around until he falls
• Savio regains control and resumes whipping Stone Cold
• Austin backdropped Vega over the top, and gets pulled over in the process
• Savio counters a suplex with one of his own on the floor
• Savio chops Austin with the strap
• Austin tries a double-sledge from the steps but gets punched in the gut
• Back in the ring, Savio hog ties Austin and touches three turnbuckles
• But Austin pulls him away before corner 4
• Stone Cold goes crazy with the strap
• Vega fights back and gets SCSA on the top turnbuckle and chops and whips him
• Austin fights back and attempts to get up top, but gets crotched
• Savio hits a big superplex
• These poor guys had to work this match two nights earlier as well
• Vega gets to three corners, but Austin intercepts him with a spine-buster
• Why doesn’t DiBiase just interfere? It’s no DQ
• Austin places Vega neck-first upon the second rope and chokes him
• He then does a running pounce on Vega’s back
• Crowd is really quiet, so you can really hear the smack of the leather on skin
• Austin gets two turnbuckles, but he stops before the third to go after Vega
• Both men attempt tombstone piledrivers, but both counter until Vega falls over the top rope
• Vega chokes Austin some more
• Austin goes up top and Vega pulls him off and Austin crashes into the guardrail
• Austin drills Vega back first into the steps
• Vega then pulls Austin into the steps
• Vega puts Austin on his shoulders and gets two turnbuckles
• Austin grabs his jeans to prevent him from the third but Vega gets it
• Stone Cold pulls him away just before he could get the fourth
• Austin hits a piledriver on Savio
• DiBiase tells Austin give him another one
• Vega counters with a back drop
• Austin locks in the Million Dollar Dream
• Austin gets on Vega’s back
• Vega touches two corners
• Vega pushes back off the turnbuckles to break he Million Dollar Dream
• Austin rams Vega head first into the post
• Stone Cold wraps the strap around Vega’s neck
• Austin hits three turnbuckles with Vega touching them just after Austin
• Vega fights back and they do a tug of war, and Austin pulls Vega accidently into the fourth corner

SAVIO VEGA BEATS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IN A STRAP MATCH IN 21:24 (***1/4)

• Savio sings a terrible rendition of Nah-Nah-Nah Hey-Hey-Goodbye
• SHAWN MICHAELS IS CHATTING ON AOL on a PHAT ASS 1996 LAPTOP

YOKOZUNA VS. VADER

• They show a highlight from seven weeks prior on Raw of Vader destroying Yoko’s leg
• Yoko looks like a subway
• They just start punching each other
• Cornette is at ringside with Vader
• They stare at each other and Vader makes noises and Yoko does a Sumo stance
• It still makes me laugh that Yokozuna was portrayed as being from Japan, even though he was Samoan
• They stall forever
• If the goal was to ease the crowd before the main event, mission accomplished
• Yoko runs and knocks down Vader, and then sends him outside
• Vader tee’s off on Yoko with punches
• Yoko works over Vader’s left leg
• Vader starts selling the leg big time
• Yoko does another leg sweep and another elbow to the knee
• My kitten does a run in and jumps on my shoulder for just enough time to show me her anus. Thanks kitty
• Anywho, Vader attempts a slam, but Yoko counters with a uranage slam
• Cornette tries to hit Yoko with the racket
• Tries a bonsai drop on Cornette
• Vader pulls Corny out of the way
• Vader nails Yoko’s leg
• Vader hits the Vader bomb for the pin

VADER BEATS YOKOZUNA IN 9:07 (*1/2)

• They show an incredibly cheesy promo for King of the Ring featuring Lawler getting hit in the head with a guitar and being sent to hell. Wacky
• That was the infamous KOTR featuring the “Austin 3:16 Promo”
• We see a GOLD CASKET at ringside

GOLDUST VS. THE UNDERTAKER – CASKET MATCH FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

• The night before on Raw, there was an infamous segment which saw Goldust perform “mouth to mouth” on Ahmed Johnson
• The lights go out for Taker’s entrance, and he appears behind Goldust to start the match
• Taker must not have known that Goldie would have liked having him behind him in the dark
• Marlena is at ringside with her Stogie and director’s chair
• Taker is dominating thus far and throws Dust head first into the steps
• Undertaker bounces Goldust’s head off the gold casket
• Taker delivers a slam to Goldust followed by a leg drop
• Taker does “old school”
• JR says this is the first ever IC Title casket match
• Goldust fights back with a slam, and Taker sits up
• Goldust hits Undertaker with a tombstone, really out of nowhere
• Taker sits up after Paul rubs the urn
• “Rest in Peace!” chants
• Goldust rolls Taker into the casket, but can’t shut it as Taker fights back
• Taker hits a big boot
• Goldust back drops Taker over the top and to the floor
• Goldust chokes Taker with a camera cord at ringside
• Goldie has the advantage and Taker stumbles about
• Undertaker hits a series of punches and kicks, but gets locked in a sleeper
• Marlena looks disgusted at the lard lovers of Charleston
• Taker gets thrown in the casket after the sleeper, but Goldust can’t shut the lid
• Taker keeps fighting back, and flips open the lid, which sends Goldust flying
• Back in the ring, Undertaker hits his huge clothesline
• Taker clotheslines Goldust over the top
• Taker attempts to kill Goldie with a chair, but Dust kicks him in the face
• Goldust hits a nice powerslam on Taker
• Goldust hits a flying clothesline from the top
• He goes for a cover, but that’s useless
• Taker grabs Goldust’s throat, but Goldust counters and scales the ropes
• He attempts old school but is thrown off
• Taker hits a tombstone
• He opens the casket only to find Mankind
• Mankind locks in the Mandible Claw
• Mankind rolls Undertaker into the casket and locks it
• Smoke billows from the casket as Mankind walks to the back

GOLDUST BEATS THE UNDERTAKER IN A CASKET MATCH TO RETAIN THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN 12:35 (**1/2)

• After the match, they open the casket and Undertaker is gone, as his music plays and the show goes off the air

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After tonight’s WWE Raw, we now know four matches for the May 31st WWE Network exclusive show, which emanates from Corpus Christie, TX. Here is the card thus far:

Elimination Chamber Match for Tag Team Championship: New Day (c) vs. Los Matadors vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Prime Time Players vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro vs. The Ascension

Elimination Chamber Match for Vacant Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev vs. Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. King Barrett vs. R-Truth

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

United States Championship: John Cena vs. NXT Champion Kevin Owens

Drew’s Take: Wow, that’s one hell of a card for this “PPV” Network show. The two chamber matches should be good, as they almost always are, and I’m sure the tag team match will be an absolute train wreck. To me, the most newsworthy match announced is the US title match with Cena & Owens. Owens made his Raw debut tonight and laid out Cena with his pop-up powerbomb. This was following a great promo exchange between the two, which made you want to see the match happen ASAP. It’ll be interesting to see whether Owens will enter the match still holding the NXT title, as that adds an interesting element to the match, with the story being that Owens could possibly be the NXT Champion and US Champion simultaneously. In any event, their segment on Monday was the highlight of a pretty good Raw show, and is the most intriguing match currently slated for the show on May 31st.

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WINS:

Fatal 4 Way WWE Title Match: This was the highlight of the WWE Payback PPV. All four men worked very hard, and it paid off big time in this match. The crowd was hot for this match for the duration, which is something that couldn’t be said about everything on this show. The crowd especially loved the Shield teases throughout, including the triple powerbomb spot on Randy Orton. The Kane interference was predictable, but didn’t detract much from the match. Seth Rollins winning presumably sets up a match against Kane, possibly at the upcoming Elimination Chamber WWE Network special on May 31st. My one critique would be Seth winning using the pedigree. I’d much rather see him establish his own finisher now that the curb stomp is on the shelf. The was the 2nd PPV main event in a row in which Rollins won using someone else’s move, which to me, comes off as indyriffic. Other than that, really good match.

John Cena vs. Rusev “I Quit” Match for US Title: A solid blow off match to their near four month feud. They used plenty of smoke and mirrors to keep the crowd captivated for the 28 minute affair, which isn’t an easy task by any means. The match was a bit rough in spots, including when they had to redo the spot with Rusev putting Cena through a table near the production area. There were some wacky moments, including Cena almost blowing up Rusev after an AA near a lighting grid around the entrance area. In the end, they went with the most predictable finish, with Lana quitting on Rusev’s behalf as he was locked in the STF with a rope wrapped around his face. All in all, the match was entertaining and deserving of being in the “Win” category. I’m very interested to see where both men go from here. I assume we’ll find out Cena’s next challenger tonight on Raw, and my guess for Rusev is that he’ll be a top contender for the Money in the Bank briefcase.

2/3 Falls Tag Team Title Match: A good match, although at the same time, tremendously disappointing. The disappointment is more with WWE, as these guys were only given 12 minutes and change to work a three fall match. Would it have been a crime to maybe shave five minutes off the Cena/Rusev match and give it to these guys? Anyway, that aside, I enjoyed the match. These two teams work really well together, and the crowds always get up for their matches. I got a kick out of Xavier Woods attempting to exercise the “Freebird Rule” after one of the falls and being denied by the official. That played into the finish as Woods sneaked behind the ref’s back and got the winning fall with an inside cradle. I’d love to see more from the New Day & Kidd/Cesaro, and I suspect we will in the Elimination Chamber in two weeks.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus: Another good match from these two. I had the pleasure of seeing them work a street fight at a house show a couple of weeks ago, which was significantly better than this match, but that is to be expected given the time constraints of live PPV. Despite the restrictions, they had a pretty good match that was most likely cut short due to Dolph ZIggler taking a page out of Zinedine Zidane’s playbook and delivering the headbutt of doom and busting himself open, which required ten stitches to close. After ZIggler was opened up, Sheamus immediately hit the Brogue kick and got the clean pin. As I said on the radio show last week, I expect the “Celtic Warrior” will be the next Intercontinental Champion.

Ryback vs. Bray Wyatt: A surprising win, here. I went into this match with really low expectations, which is probably why I consider it to be a win. But I will give them credit, Bray and Ryback worked really hard (and stiff at times) and put together a perfectly acceptable pro wrestling match. Bonus points to Ryback for allowing Wyatt to deliver a flying senton from the apron onto him, which reportedly led to a broken rib. Hope he gets a couple extra bucks for that one. Ouch.

FAILS:

Neville vs. King Barrett: The fail here is not so much the match, but the finish. They had a pretty decent little match, but then, seemingly out of nowhere, Barrett decided he wasn’t going to beat the referee’s count, and was counted out. And then, Barrett decided to lay out Neville with his wacky elbow, only to be crowned with a Red Arrow. Yup, sure is good to be the king in WWE.

Naomi & Tamina vs. The Bella Twins: This was a pretty flat match. The crowd was drained because for some reason, they decided put this on right after the I Quit match. Way to give the Divas a chance! Anyway, as expected, Naomi pinned Nikki to probably set up a rematch between those two, perhaps at the Elimination Chamber show.

The “Mega Powers” vs. The Ascension: This was terrible. I cannot stand this “Macho Mandow” gimmick that Sandow is doing. He is an entertaining guy in his own right, he doesn’t need to be ripping off other people’s gimmicks. Just brutal. I presume this came about due to the lackluster crowd reaction his promo got a couple of weeks back. And what is there to say about the Ascension? These guys were DOA (Dead on Arrival, not Disciples of Apocalypse) in January. Just a bad act altogether that nobody takes seriously. The Axelmania thing I do find entertaining, but that was the lone bright spot of this clusterfuckfest.

R-Truth vs. Stardust: WHY THE FUCK DID WE NEED TO SEE THIS MATCH? I guess it was a hair better than listening to Renee, Booker, Tattoo boy, and Ativan Andy babble on and on and on and on…

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