TWS168: The End Is Nigh (Impossible)!

TWS168: The End Is Nigh (Impossible)!

CQ: Now that the computer Watson has “solved” Jeopardy, what game will computer scientists turn their jealous eyes toward? And what will be the eventual side-effect result of the computer’s domination of that game?

Bumper: J. R. Murdock

Promo: Amarna at Imagination Lane

Promo: Comedy4Cast

On the show this week:

• Front Page
• Prima
• Duplo
• Extras

Full list of 66 articles after the jump!

• Front Page:
  • Now we know the end of call centres..: Computerworld – IBM supercomputer wins first Jeopardy dust up
  • Fallout 3 is a prophecy..: AOL – 2-Headed Cow Born in Tbilisi, Georgia
  • Since we already have enough people, this is really a good sign..: AOL – Where Have All the Sperm Gone? 1 in 5 Men Are ‘Subfertile’
  • Dead birds due to traffic.: WYFF – Mystery Of Upstate Bird Kill Solved
  • Dead birds due to traffic. (And salt. Tasty, tasty salt.): BBC – Swedish bird mystery: Deaths due to ‘external injuries’
  • Dead birds due to tasty, tasty everything.: The UK Daily Mail – Overeating and indigestion blamed for 1,000 turtle doves falling dead in Italy with strange blue stain on their beaks
  • Dead fish due to the cold. Also: I plan to (or need to!) name a character “Gizzard Shad”.: The Chicago Sun-Times – Major die-off of fish along lakefront
  • Dead birds due to fowl play.: San Francisco Chronicle/AP – More than 100 dead birds found off Calif. highway
  • Dead birds due to tasty – hick!.. Tasty – hick!.. … MMmmm… Berries!: BBC – Alcohol poisoning, not avian flu, killed Romanian birds
  • Dead crickets due to virus. Finally, there is an appropriate use for those thousands of miniature sarcastic violins.: MSNBC – First dead birds, then dead fish … now crickets
  • The world dies all the time. Nothing to see here. Move along and enjoy your sitcom.: The Express UK – DON’T PANIC! AFLOCKALYPSE IS NOT END OF DAYS
  • No, REALLY. Move along. Nature is resilient. And deadly. And bored.: CTV/AP – Fact check: Mass bird, fish deaths occur regularly
  • I lament the state of professional prophets, when they hum and haw as much as this one. Go full crazy, or go home!: Dangerous Minds – Cindy Jacobs blames bird deaths on DADT repeal!
• Prima:
  • Luckiest number is probably “1”, as you are likely in a mansion..: The UK Telegraph – Unluckiest house number is 243
  • There’s a parable in there, somewhere..: 9MSN – Frog hitches ride with snake to flee floods
  • Putting two schools of thought to the test..: Mother Nature Network – Fish compete with college students on math test
  • Yay! Someone thinks we might last another 3 millenia!: ScienceDaily – Climate Change to Continue to Year 3000 in Best Case Scenarios, Research Predicts
  • This looks like fun. And much like something from a badly-written disaster/apocalypse movie. Or 1980s scifi..: The UK Daily Mail – All aboard the Ark Hotel! Giant biosphere is a ‘self-contained haven’ in event of climate change flood disaster
  • I’m sure some see this as a challenge to see how far we can go until we reach the tipping point.: ScienceDaily – Atmosphere’s Self-Cleaning Capacity Surprisingly Stable
  • I knew this reaction would come before the article was published. Perhaps I saw the future..: The New York Times – Journal’s Paper on ESP Expected to Prompt Outrage
  • (EXTRA) Objects not recognized: garden gnomes, Mandelbrot sets, t-squares and UFOs.: Science Daily – Border Collie Comprehends Over 1,000 Object Names as Verbal Referents
  • (EXTRA) Now, if only they could cancel out my screaming..: BBC – Device ‘cancels out the sound of the dentist’s drill’
  • (EXTRA) It shows that sitting around in the dark can be illuminating.: ScienceDaily – The ‘Mad’ Egyptian Scholar Who Proved Aristotle Wrong
  • (EXTRA) Move over Movember: it’s Molection time!: BBC – ‘Grow a beard for Belgium’ appeal by actor Poelvoorde
  • (EXTRA) I wonder how many people are afraid to ask: “Um.. what the *hell* were you thinking?”: AOL – 10,000 Pens = 1 Crazy Mercedes
  • (EXTRA) I never had an imaginary friend. I couldn’t afford one. So I bought a computer instead.: BBC – My pretend friend
  • Somehow, I get the feeling that anything the body got rid of on its own is probably meant to be gone for good..: AOL – Storing Farts in a Jar, Drinking Urine and Other Medical Oddities
  • (EXTRA) He’s just really a head of his times.: The UK Telegraph – Artist Damien Hirst offends bereaved parents by using baby’s skull for ‘disturbing’ new work
  • This is an issue that will explode when the baby boomers expire.: The New York Times – Cyberspace When You’re Dead
  • (EXTRA) An art installation and plgrimage worthy of a biblical verse.: AOL – Salvation Mountain: A Towering Salute to God
  • (EXTRA) This rings a bell..: New Scientist – Brain training for tinnitus reverses ringing in ears
  • … and mammoth burgers will be launched a few years after that!: The UK Telegraph – Mammoth ‘could be reborn in four years’
  • (EXTRA) I need to have a scifi grotto with that glow.: The Victoria Times Colonist – Alert: Chemical that turned Goldstream River green can cause allergic reactions
  • This is so Star Trek, it’s practically a temporal anomoly…: New Scientist – Ethereal quantum state stored in solid crystal
  • (EXTRA) I thought it was Bones who was the alien hater, not Scotty..: STV – Be prepared for close encounters with aliens, says Scots scientist
  • (EXTRA) Ironically, such things can only be seen from far away, because close up, they’re too big..: ScienceDaily – Hubble Zooms in on a Space Oddity
  • (EXTRA) Maybe it comes from the first-stage colonization effort, in which critical supplies are sent by automated systems. Boy, are they going to be angry to see their luggage appropriated!: ScienceDaily – Water on Moon Originated from Comets
  • Don’t knock it ’til you try it. Giggity.: New Scientist – Sex and space travel don’t mix
  • (EXTRA) Soon, the airships will catch not only the lightning, but the antimatter..: BBC – Antimatter caught streaming from thunderstorms on Earth
  • (EXTRA) After all: we (apparently) shoulnd’t have sex in space, so…: Space.com – Study: If We’re Not Alone, We Should Fear the Aliens
  • (EXTRA) Yes, but do you *eat* them or *wear* them? Or is there some sort of hidden sexual metaphor at work, here?: STV – Carrots and plums boost attractiveness, claim experts
  • (EXTRA) They are the Very Cross Red Cross.: STV – Pantomime dame accused of contravening Geneva Convention
• Duplo:
  • Oh, great! *Nothing* rhymes with “orange alligator”!: The Christian Science Monitor – Orange alligator: Evolution or dye job?
  • Ah, the eternal enemies representing crap and nuts are at eachother’s throats!: The Christian Science Monitor/LiveScience – Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey-annoyance experts
  • As technology improves, I hope the superheroes do, too. And I hope the supervillians do, as well, really..: The UK Telegraph – Phoenix Jones: the masked vigilante protecting Lynnwood, Washington
  • (EXTRA) It’s symbolic that a total waste of resources is representing a total waste of resources, but also still a waste..: Inhabitat – 30,000 Used Chopsticks Transformed Into a Fallen Tree in Shanghai
  • Geez, the universe just isn’t what it used to be!: Tampa Bay Online – Shift of Earth’s magnetic north pole affects Tampa airport
  • Now, more than every, we need money laundering. Damn you, legal society!: Metro – Cash machines ‘as dirty as public toilets’
  • Eventually, people will be able to have a career as freelance cognitive engines.: New Scientist – Online game helps predict how RNA folds
  • Oh, sure: laugh! When *science* revises itself, it’s tickedy-boo! Hypocrites!: Fox News – Age of Aquarius Actually Age of Capricorn, Thanks to Rotation of the Earth
  • How many times have I looked at that painting? And how many times have I failed to notice the apocalyptic wasteland behind her?: The UK Telegraph – Mona Lisa landscape location mystery ‘solved’
  • The Mona Lisa only fails to bring out something new and interesting when you are actually there to see it. Trust me.: Science Daily – Hidden Literary References Discovered in the Mona Lisa
  • Much better than transparent aluminum, I think. Also: real.: ScienceDaily – New Glass Stronger and Tougher Than Steel
  • The real question? Why will we need invisible tanks in five years?: The UK Telegraph – Invisible tanks could be on battlefield within five years
  • … and then the pirates found mirrors..: New Scientist – New laser to dazzle pirates on the high seas
  • (EXTRA) This is how the Matrix begins.: BBC – Harvesting energy: body heat to warm buildings
  • (EXTRA) It might lead to people “holding it” longer, just so they have more “ammunition”. Also: not likely for girls.: Wired – Sega Installs “Toylet” Games in Japan’s Urinals
  • (EXTRA) “That which does not kill me, makes me stronger. You can strike me down, but I will return stronger than ever.”: BBC – Swine flu offers ‘extraordinary super immunity’
  • (EXTRA) Hmm.. this is something that the digital e-text revolution is going to kill..: Otago Daily Times – Jewellery stash first for secondhand book-seller
  • (EXTRA) They’re all gonna laugh at you!: BBC – Hyenas ‘greet friends’ to ask for their help
  • (EXTRA) Now *that’s* putting your butt on the line!: AOL – Dying ‘Body Worlds’ Artist Plans to Put His Plastinated Corpse on Exhibit
  • (EXTRA) The questions will come forever: was he acting alone, or was he pushed? But why not both?: The UK Mirror – Arizona shootings: Tucson killer’s sinister shrine
  • (EXTRA) In the future, I wonder if “amateur porn star” will be as common as “babysitter”..: Orange – Porn stars to debate at Cambridge
• Extras:
  • (EXTRA) Herr mutt, das good!: The Jerusalem Post/AP – New documents: Hitler-mocking dog enraged Nazis
  • (EXTRA) Well, where would *you* keep it? Sheesh!: The Mainichi Daily News – Son suspected of keeping father’s mummified corpse in wardrobe for over 5 years
  • (EXTRA) It’s not like it’s the North Pole or something! … Oh…: The Local Germany – Frostbitten cyclist ‘didn’t think Siberia would be so cold’